Untitled Sonnet About Why Clothes Are Necessary for the Winter Olympics
(That is, a poorly composed sonnet about why winter Olympians don't forgo the Lycra and just slather themselves with oil and dirt. Also, it may or may not require some slurring so that the rhyme scheme works.)The competing Greeks saw no need for clothes
No use for cloth despite sweat and oil
They had no shame with their Olympic flame
Though it showed lack of girth and moyle.
Soon, though, the weather inclemented
And winter sports, they came to pass.
Trouble rose ‘mongst the oily scented,
Hopes were dashed with smashings of ass.
So it came to be, clothes were now seen
On those with wintr’y pursuits
They padded their asses and replaced the sheen
Slathered on their birthday suits
If the Greeks have taught us nothing at all
At least we avoid the naked slalom.